How to Stay Connected as a Couple While Parenting

By: Fiona Demers, MC, CCC, CCS

Whether you are the sleep-deprived parents of a newborn, the exhausted parents of school-aged children or the always-on-the-go parents of teenagers, you know how grueling parenting can be. Rewarding and fulfilling yes, and also incredibly hard work!

Often, we find our relationship gets lost in the hustle and bustle of diaper changes, temper tantrums, school drop off and pick up, homework, extra-curricular activities, endless laundry, and all the other things that come with raising children. Couples sometimes find themselves living parallel lives and not connecting like they once did or would like to. If this sounds familiar, then you are not alone.

The good news is there are small and powerful ways to reestablish or maintain that connection amid all the chaos. Research done by relationship experts Drs. John and Julie Gottman (2022) reveals some realistic and manageable ways couples can create more intimacy and connection.

Here are just a few ways you can start to transform your relationship:

• Give a real compliment – Research shows that for every one negative interaction we have with our partner we need five positive interactions to keep love alive in a relationship.
• Physical touch – Try a six-second kiss or a twenty-second This releases oxytocin, the love hormone.
• Say thank you – Notice the things your partner does that go toward enhancing your relationship, even if they are small things that happen every day. Shifting our focus from the negative to the positive can result in relationships that are happier and longer lasting.

As the Gottman’s point out, doing these small things often can have a big impact and help to keep our relationships strong and healthy through the challenges of parenthood.

For more tips on how to stay connected as a couple while parenting and keep your relationship thriving, reach out to our experienced therapists at Repiphany Counselling.

Source

• Gottman, J.G., & Gottman, J.S. (2022). The love prescription: 7 days to more intimacy, connection, and joy. New York: Penguin Books.